their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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