thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
