I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
