It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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