saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
