There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize