so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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