belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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