i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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