I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
