I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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