I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
