You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
