I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
