And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
