Kiss
Puke
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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