I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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