Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
