Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize