Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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