ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
