Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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