There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
