He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
