My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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