I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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