i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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