I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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