I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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