How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
