Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
