the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
