I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
