Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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