Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
