I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
