ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
