ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
