I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
