I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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