Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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