I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
