you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
