You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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