therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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