bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
