I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
