who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
