Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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