they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
