just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
