Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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