wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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