I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
