Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
