Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
there is glitter all over my balls
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
