the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
