Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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